If the fish do not bite, move to more fertile waters. Often we see someone that we find attractive, and while we put on the best face we can, they are uninterested. If someone is truly interested in you, they will make that known. You will not need to continue to place yourself on audition for the, and get no results, if someone is interested they will show it. If that person that you have you eye on isn’t taking the bait, move to where someone is.

Call it irony, call it God’s good blessing, that everyone isn’t attracted to everyone else. There will always be not so great choices, and some wonderful choices out there. Is it by design that not everyone attracts you in a romantic way, or is it just a good thing. With this in mind, you shouldn’t get discouraged when that other person isn’t interested enough in you to pursue a relationship.

So if you are extending out invitations, your phone calls aren’t being returned, and the person isn’t open to spending time with you because they are too busy, let it go. If you call people to dinner they come, and if they don’t, guess what, they aren’t hungry. You need to cut these outpourings within a reasonable time before people become uncomfortable. It isn’t about being antisocial; it is about you not wasting your time.

If people are interested, they return phone calls. They do show up when you invite them, and they do make an effort to spend time with you. Watch for these signs. Yes, some people are off to slow starts, and that’s ok; just make sure you’re getting positive feedback. If you are getting lukewarm feedback, it is time for you to rethink your position on this particular person, and see if it is a slow start, or if it is simply time to move on.

One thing to remember when you are looking for a potential partner is that you are getting positive feedback. This is in returned phone calls, they show up when you invite them, and they are willing to do their share in keeping lines of communication open. If they are doing less than that, that person isn’t as interested in you as you are in them. So before you get a lot invested into a lukewarm relationship, simply look elsewhere for that special person.

But you should wear only clothes that make the best of your unique shape. Too many fleshy women (and there are lots of men who prefer robust females over skimpier lasses) are currently wandering the planet in low-rise jeans and tank tops, which results in a phenomenon known as “muffin top.” In other words, they’re walking around with a wedge of flab over their waistbands. Not a good look.

Before you hop on whatever trend they’re pushing in InStyle magazine, ask yourself if the look works for you and your beautiful body. I once read an interview with the actress Sela Ward, in which she said she chooses clothes to show off her amazing flat stomach but avoids items that expose her flabby thighs. You see, nobody’s perfect!

The key is to emphasize what you do have and to detract from what you don’t. Buy only the clothes that you know you’ll put on over and over again because they make you feel fantastic. Think twice about any garment heralded by women’s magazines as “must-have” items. The only “must-haves” in life are oxygen and self-esteem.

Which brings me to my next subject: When you go out to a club, a bar or a party, you will notice that 3/4 of the other women are half naked. Yes, some of them look quite good half naked (while the other half look quite scary), but dressing provocatively often attracts the very guys a woman would do better to avoid.

Put it this way: If you don’t leave anything to the imagination, you usually attract a guy with no imagination.

At the end of the day, you don’t want to attract a guy because he thinks you’re hot. You want to attract a guy who likes you for you. Dress sexily but subtly. You don’t want your clothes to scream, “I gotta find me a man tonight!”

Dress comfortably. If you feel comfortable, you’ll look comfortable, and that’s sexy. Here’s an example: Once upon a time I went to the beach with some friends who actually have melanin in their skin. They took to their blankets in their cute bikinis, while I (so pale I make Snow White look like Grace Jones) sat beside them wearing Levis, a long-sleeved shirt, and sunglasses.

Out of nowhere, a gorgeous, well-toned man appeared (the type of guy you see in suntan lotion commercials) and asked me, the freak on the beach, what I was reading.

“Wuthering Heights,” I said.

“Really?” he asked. “I just finished Jane Eyre.”

And so began a little romance.

Still bewildered, I told my male friend B. this story years later. I didn’t understand why this Adonis chose Glow-in-the-Dark Terry over the dark lovelies in bikinis.

“I understand completely,” B. responded. “The beach was crawling with girls in bikinis, and you presented something else. A little mystery.”

“In a pair of Levis?”

“Yeah,” he said. “The guy probably thought, this girl is different. I want to talk to her.”

Does this mean you should throw away your bikini? Heck, no, especially if you look good in it. But the point is, be true to yourself. Dress to make the very best of your unique and beautiful body.

You’ll attract men who are looking for someone special for a change.

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of “How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams.” Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com. Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com.