I don’t think I have anyone in this catagory.  I am generally good at maintaining relationships, a few relationships I have chosen to let go because they became too toxic, and to painful to continue.   I am generally the person that tries to maintain a relationship until it becomes too unbearable.  I know I have stayed in some friendships beyond the real life of the friendship.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Thankfully no one fits into this box right now   Life changing events helps you put things into a priority, and when these things happen you change your perspective radically.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

People tell me that I can handle or endure a lot.  I completely disagree, these aren’t the people that see me in private, or see me when I am not calm, or not ok.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

My wonderful grasp on the english language.  I hate to tell you how often I get told I misspell something, or I have used the wrong word.  Now that I have a book under my belt, this pains me even more

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Wow, this is a diffcult question for me to answer.  So many of those who I loved have passed away.  At times for me, this is most difficult for me to answer.  I can’t say anyone at this point in my life that is alive today makes my life worth living for.   I dedicated my book to Michael simply because I think he was the person who was the most influential person in my adult life.  I am simply alive at this point in my life because God wills it, and I don’t understand why.  I am honestly no longer certain of the purpose of my life, and I wish that an answer would be made clear for me, but I doubt that will happen.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

I love that I have a wicked sense of humor.  I try to find an amusing anecdote in everyday life.  This also means that sometimes I chuckle inapropriately.  I love the fact that I have woke myself up from laughing in my sleep. 

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

On another note, I was looking around the web and there are lots of great spreadsheets that have information on how your weight changes, and how you can rule out the day to day fluctuations.  So if you are good with Excel I would recommend modifying this spreadsheet. It will rule out any daily sudden increases with the five day moving average.  I know it has me feeling better.

I don’t relish the thought of taking on a weight loss plan in the middle of the holidays.  It makes social events awkward for me.  I have generally been the one to keep a pretty full wine glass, and would nosh on everything.  My last social event was highly restrained, me drinking water the whole evening, and not inhaling all of the wonderful cookies that were floating around.  At times I would sell my soul for a fresh out of the oven cookie. 

I seriously love DietGourmet, and will be using them a couple of times a week to make dining easier.

It isn’t often enough when a cookbook gives you more than just recipes. Nourishing Traditions is filled with fact based nutrition that counters some of what we see in the trendy news everyday. Someone really hit the nail on the head when they said this was like ‘Joy of Cooking’ in the sense it was a textbook as much as it was a cookbook. Honestly this book as been on my coffee table since it was purchased because of all of the information in this book, and the recipes are top notch too!

What I really like about this book is this first few chapters, Sally Fallon goes over nutrition over the ages, and dispells some of what’s currently noted in our pop culture media. Guess what sometimes everything is good for you in some circumstances. Food isn’t inheritantly evil. We have the responsibility to ingest high quality food, and we should not leave these important decisions to food manufactors or mass media to tell us what is best for us. She then goes over important kitchen appliances, and ones that aren’t so important. She covers basic ingredients and gives multiple suggestions for incorporating better choices into our diet.

I love her recipes. She has many recipes for making your own saurkraut, and a variety of other pickled and fermented vegetables. These are so easy to make. What you aren’t going to find in this book are recipes that ask you to put in ingredients with a lot of preservatives in here. She is never going to ask you to add Miracle Whip or Italian dressing to anything. The recipes do not lack flavor, in fact, you won’t even miss a lot of these off the shelf ingredients that we so often use.

I am passionate about this book. If you are wanting to improve your diet sensibly, this is the book to pick up. She isn’t asking you to become a vegan, or even go vegetarian, she gives information and then recipes to help you give yourself better nutrition. I would recommend this book as a starter book in trying to eat more healthy. You can’t go wrong with Nourishing Traditions.

I think you need to be very objective when you start in a new relationship. You need to realize that is this the point where that other person is showing you their best effort. If their best effort fails to meet your needs you need to move on quickly. For example do they forget to call you when they say they will? Everyone works and sometimes gets busy, but when they consistently forget to call you, do you think it will get any better? It won’t, they suddenly won’t have a revalation one day and begin to call you all of the time.

Are they sometimes hot and sometime cold towards you? We all want someone that is consistent, they may not be behave exactly like we want, but we shouldn’t be surprised in the way they want to be close and then suddenly distance themselves from us. If they are wishy washy, we need to set them to the curb and get off that potential emotional roller coaster.

The time to decide whether a relationship should move forward or stop moving forward is early on. Are you being treated like you want to be? Are your needs for closeness being met? If they are not, move on. You don’t owe that person a lengthly explanation, you owe it to yourself to be happy, and not to let another person drag you down.

Often growing past a relationship means taking an inventory of what brough you into this relationship, and what brought you out of the relationship. Relationships with people that are toxic are more difficult in doing this inventory of what went wrong. When we are involved with someone that is toxic we often change what our natural ways of reacting are in relation to that other person.

So what do you do? Honestly, the best thing you can do is to forgive yourself, chances are you were doing the best that you could, and you made your decisions to stay within that relationship maybe longer than you should have. Forgiveness doesn’t need to involve that other person, you really never need to interact with someone that is toxic again, you simply much move forward with yourself.

Forgive yourself often, and for each thing you thought might have led you into that particular relationship. This is the only way you can ever really move past a bad relationship in your life. Simply forgive yourself and move forward and ontward into better relationships in the future.

I can honestly say that my relationship with my narcissist was one in which I had many high points, and their were many, many low points. This came home recently when planning a vacation with friends to a place I had been with this particular person. Now I have been back to this vacation spot with other people but there are some moments with that person that have turned into a chuckle now. Did I ever think that would happen? No.

Honestly the turning point in my relationship with that person came from reading about personality disorders and journaling. I journaled every day that I could to track what was going on, what was being said. I also kept all emails and instant message conversations as well. These were important, because I could see in black and white what was being said, and then later just show that person what was being said. This helped me to realize this relationship was not healthly.

My next plan of action was reading up on this disorder, and realizing that you can not make this person better. Any efforts in doing to are completely wasted. In most normal relationships where people care about each other if you tell someone something is bothering them, they are likely to work on things with you. Think about it, would a person that you are involved with said hey stop stepping on my toe it hurts, and you replied no, I want to step where I wanted to. What would the other person think, they would think man, I am not going to continue to be around that person if they are always stepping on my toe. Your relationship with a significant other shouldn’t be any different.

Once I realized I couldn’t make this person any better, I began to cut my contact with them. It was difficult as he could be as charming as anyone. They have to be, they have nothing else to offer to anyone. The darn thing about it is they have had a lifetime to perfect their charm, and man, they have it. You have to cut yourself off from that person, and not pay them any attention. My particular relationship finally ended after being stalked, harassed by him, and others, when I got the police involved. If necessary I recommend law enforcement.

Then came the healing. It has been a long journey. I have continually tried equipping myself with good knowledge about relationships, and surrounding myself with healthy people. I promise you will eventually get to the point where you don’t think about this person constantly. I promise that eventually you can chuckle about the weird things that happened in the relationship, and you will move on.

Once they finally realize that you are no longer a source of what they want from you, they will move on. It may take awhile, but it will happen. Remember to stay strong and for you to continue to ignore them, and deny them anything they desire from you. If you bend, even a little in this, they will continue to circle back, and get whatever they can from you. Keep in mind these are not rational people that you are dealing with. They are sub-human.

Life without a narcisist in it will be easier. You will be amazed at how you can live your life without so much drama. It will be like night and day once you knock this person out of your life. While it isn’t an easy task to do, your life will dramatically improve, and you will be happier after you heal some of the damage that they do. Stay strong, deny them what they desire from you, and eventually they will go away, and your life will return to normal.