On another note, I was looking around the web and there are lots of great spreadsheets that have information on how your weight changes, and how you can rule out the day to day fluctuations.  So if you are good with Excel I would recommend modifying this spreadsheet. It will rule out any daily sudden increases with the five day moving average.  I know it has me feeling better.

I don’t relish the thought of taking on a weight loss plan in the middle of the holidays.  It makes social events awkward for me.  I have generally been the one to keep a pretty full wine glass, and would nosh on everything.  My last social event was highly restrained, me drinking water the whole evening, and not inhaling all of the wonderful cookies that were floating around.  At times I would sell my soul for a fresh out of the oven cookie. 

I seriously love DietGourmet, and will be using them a couple of times a week to make dining easier.

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It isn’t often enough when a cookbook gives you more than just recipes. Nourishing Traditions is filled with fact based nutrition that counters some of what we see in the trendy news everyday. Someone really hit the nail on the head when they said this was like ‘Joy of Cooking’ in the sense it was a textbook as much as it was a cookbook. Honestly this book as been on my coffee table since it was purchased because of all of the information in this book, and the recipes are top notch too!

What I really like about this book is this first few chapters, Sally Fallon goes over nutrition over the ages, and dispells some of what’s currently noted in our pop culture media. Guess what sometimes everything is good for you in some circumstances. Food isn’t inheritantly evil. We have the responsibility to ingest high quality food, and we should not leave these important decisions to food manufactors or mass media to tell us what is best for us. She then goes over important kitchen appliances, and ones that aren’t so important. She covers basic ingredients and gives multiple suggestions for incorporating better choices into our diet.

I love her recipes. She has many recipes for making your own saurkraut, and a variety of other pickled and fermented vegetables. These are so easy to make. What you aren’t going to find in this book are recipes that ask you to put in ingredients with a lot of preservatives in here. She is never going to ask you to add Miracle Whip or Italian dressing to anything. The recipes do not lack flavor, in fact, you won’t even miss a lot of these off the shelf ingredients that we so often use.

I am passionate about this book. If you are wanting to improve your diet sensibly, this is the book to pick up. She isn’t asking you to become a vegan, or even go vegetarian, she gives information and then recipes to help you give yourself better nutrition. I would recommend this book as a starter book in trying to eat more healthy. You can’t go wrong with Nourishing Traditions.

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I think you need to be very objective when you start in a new relationship. You need to realize that is this the point where that other person is showing you their best effort. If their best effort fails to meet your needs you need to move on quickly. For example do they forget to call you when they say they will? Everyone works and sometimes gets busy, but when they consistently forget to call you, do you think it will get any better? It won’t, they suddenly won’t have a revalation one day and begin to call you all of the time.

Are they sometimes hot and sometime cold towards you? We all want someone that is consistent, they may not be behave exactly like we want, but we shouldn’t be surprised in the way they want to be close and then suddenly distance themselves from us. If they are wishy washy, we need to set them to the curb and get off that potential emotional roller coaster.

The time to decide whether a relationship should move forward or stop moving forward is early on. Are you being treated like you want to be? Are your needs for closeness being met? If they are not, move on. You don’t owe that person a lengthly explanation, you owe it to yourself to be happy, and not to let another person drag you down.

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Often growing past a relationship means taking an inventory of what brough you into this relationship, and what brought you out of the relationship. Relationships with people that are toxic are more difficult in doing this inventory of what went wrong. When we are involved with someone that is toxic we often change what our natural ways of reacting are in relation to that other person.

So what do you do? Honestly, the best thing you can do is to forgive yourself, chances are you were doing the best that you could, and you made your decisions to stay within that relationship maybe longer than you should have. Forgiveness doesn’t need to involve that other person, you really never need to interact with someone that is toxic again, you simply much move forward with yourself.

Forgive yourself often, and for each thing you thought might have led you into that particular relationship. This is the only way you can ever really move past a bad relationship in your life. Simply forgive yourself and move forward and ontward into better relationships in the future.

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I can honestly say that my relationship with my narcissist was one in which I had many high points, and their were many, many low points. This came home recently when planning a vacation with friends to a place I had been with this particular person. Now I have been back to this vacation spot with other people but there are some moments with that person that have turned into a chuckle now. Did I ever think that would happen? No.

Honestly the turning point in my relationship with that person came from reading about personality disorders and journaling. I journaled every day that I could to track what was going on, what was being said. I also kept all emails and instant message conversations as well. These were important, because I could see in black and white what was being said, and then later just show that person what was being said. This helped me to realize this relationship was not healthly.

My next plan of action was reading up on this disorder, and realizing that you can not make this person better. Any efforts in doing to are completely wasted. In most normal relationships where people care about each other if you tell someone something is bothering them, they are likely to work on things with you. Think about it, would a person that you are involved with said hey stop stepping on my toe it hurts, and you replied no, I want to step where I wanted to. What would the other person think, they would think man, I am not going to continue to be around that person if they are always stepping on my toe. Your relationship with a significant other shouldn’t be any different.

Once I realized I couldn’t make this person any better, I began to cut my contact with them. It was difficult as he could be as charming as anyone. They have to be, they have nothing else to offer to anyone. The darn thing about it is they have had a lifetime to perfect their charm, and man, they have it. You have to cut yourself off from that person, and not pay them any attention. My particular relationship finally ended after being stalked, harassed by him, and others, when I got the police involved. If necessary I recommend law enforcement.

Then came the healing. It has been a long journey. I have continually tried equipping myself with good knowledge about relationships, and surrounding myself with healthy people. I promise you will eventually get to the point where you don’t think about this person constantly. I promise that eventually you can chuckle about the weird things that happened in the relationship, and you will move on.

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Once they finally realize that you are no longer a source of what they want from you, they will move on. It may take awhile, but it will happen. Remember to stay strong and for you to continue to ignore them, and deny them anything they desire from you. If you bend, even a little in this, they will continue to circle back, and get whatever they can from you. Keep in mind these are not rational people that you are dealing with. They are sub-human.

Life without a narcisist in it will be easier. You will be amazed at how you can live your life without so much drama. It will be like night and day once you knock this person out of your life. While it isn’t an easy task to do, your life will dramatically improve, and you will be happier after you heal some of the damage that they do. Stay strong, deny them what they desire from you, and eventually they will go away, and your life will return to normal.

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Two out of three, while it aint bad, is like a stool with three legs and one leg is way shorter than the other. Things are always going to be unbalanced, and the party that is more engaged in the relationship than the other is always going to feel on edge, simply because they are on edge. What do you do at this point? If you want to hold on to yourself, and not waste time, you should openly discuss this with someone rather than sitting around waiting, and feeling like you are tolerated rather than being wanted. It is difficult to feel that you are barely tolerated and not wanted. When this is the case, the relationship is can not be sustained.

If you two have been together for awhile, and have had some good times and you may feel that this is only due to a stressful situation at work, or perhaps some emotional immaturity on that other person’s side. It may be possible that things can work out, and that relationship can turn back into balance. If after a conversaiton things to do fall back into place it is time to move on.

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I have read books on this, and scanned the Internet looking for solid advice to this problem. You know, I haven’t found solid and consistent advice. There are many different schools of thought, that people offer: make a clean and pronounced break, or simply allow things to drift and do not say anything, or you can say something about the relationship when you two speak again. All of this advice is extremely conflicting and doesn’t really allow for consistent advice.

Some of the best advice I found was it good to let friendships go when the cost of maintaining the relationship became to high. For example, if you are the one that always must arrange you two to get together, and it bothers you, you should let the friendship go. Or it may be something like you have to constantly keep each other in communication or the friendship will die, then you should let it go.

Other advice I have seen is when that person isn’t there to support you in times of need it is time to put that friendship on the back burner. Friends should be there to support each other in time of need, and yet, when a person who was a friend may not be there for you during your important times of need, it may be time to let that person go.

I would like to say that it is time to let friendships go when you give more than you receive. I really feel relationships by nature, are often uneven, so that is a hard way to judge a relationship. Once in a relationships class I heard a good explanation for friendships, some friends were there for a lifetime, and others only for a season.

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Friendships, as well as romantic relationships are all about being there for another person. Sometimes they are there for you, sometimes you are their support system. What do you do when you realize that you are the one giving, and they are the one taking all of the time? It takes so much away from any person to constantly give. Now you have some options.

You can continue to be a giving person, and continue to stay in the role that you are in. While it may be the easiest, it may not be best choice for you. We all have breaking points, and it is difficult to allow someone to push you to that limit all of the time. If you have a point of stress in your life you can’t fix, or you can’t eliminate it may eventually drag you down.

Another choice is to confront the person. You can do it in a nice, and loving way. Telling this person what you are sensing may make a change in their actions. You can do this in a humorous way, a serious way, or an unemotional way. You are doing yourself a huge favor by letting that person know, continuing the relationship is difficult for you. By telling someone how you feel, puts the problem back on the other person. So the next time they call, or stop by for a chat, you can end the coversation without the guilt if and when they start their one-sided conversation.

Your next option if great if you don’t want the confrontation. Start to scale back on your time involved with the other person. Simply cut phone conversations short, being busy when they need you. You can be less responsive when they talk, most people will get the hing.

One thing I have noticed is that you have to make an active choice when dealing with these people when they become emotional leeches. You need to be true to yourself. If you need to find another friend, while not easy, it is something you should do. If the person just let the friendship/relationship get out of balance, and they are a good person, they will put the relationship right.

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