About a month ago, I was having dinner with a group of ladies. Strangely, there were about 6 of us there, and 5 of us were “widows”. While I can’t officially call myself a “widow” I have felt like one since the death of my fiancee. Some of the ladies were long time widows, some had not had large amounts of time in that dreaded catagory. I can say for certain that is one club that you really don’t want to be a member of. I had to ask, does this grief, or missing the one that you loved get any easier. I was hoping for an answer I would like.
The answer I got was no, it doesn’t get any easier, it simply changes. I was told the sense of loss never really goes away, that unfortunately has been my experience. Sadly I was comforted in when a couple of the ladies mentioned how well they hold up in public, and then at times as soon as the door closes when they get home, they melt. This has been something I have done all too often. I have melted into a puddle. I have melted into a puddle when watching certain tv shows, reading a book, or even going over my journal from days past.
I would love to tell you that the ladies had said, yes, it gets a little easier. Grief is a vicious monster that hands overhead for a long time. I don’t anticipate ever being completelly over my relationship with Michael. It was sadly refreshing to hear what I go through, others go through and struggle with as well. I was amazed that many had the same reactions as I have had.
About Stephanie Manley