Comments on: How to get past a bad relationship http://stephaniemanley.com/2008/09/how-to-get-past-a-bad-relationship/ Commentary about life, relationships, food, and more Wed, 06 Jul 2011 04:24:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: admin http://stephaniemanley.com/2008/09/how-to-get-past-a-bad-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-99 admin Wed, 29 Jul 2009 20:35:20 +0000 http://stephaniemanley.com/?p=74#comment-99 This is my advice to you. You really have to begin to think of this person as a non-person. Otherwise you are going to use the normal rules we use with other normal people, keep in your mind, this is a person who is basically damanged goods, and it is unlikely that he will get better.He is doing this because he isn't in control right now, and he is attempting to push your buttons to get a reaction off of you. This person feeds off of reactions of others. What will he do when you get involved with someone else? I can't tell you. I can say my person went away, it was evident that I had grown past his actions, and he decided it was worth it to move onto someone else. You have to stay firm in your resolution not to react to him. Every time you react to him you feed the nasty beast that is inside of this man. I wish I could give easier advice, or something more simple, but in my experience and from what I have read on this subject, it is best not to feed the beast withinGood luck! Stephanie This is my advice to you. You really have to begin to think of this person as a non-person. Otherwise you are going to use the normal rules we use with other normal people, keep in your mind, this is a person who is basically damanged goods, and it is unlikely that he will get better.He is doing this because he isn’t in control right now, and he is attempting to push your buttons to get a reaction off of you. This person feeds off of reactions of others. What will he do when you get involved with someone else? I can’t tell you. I can say my person went away, it was evident that I had grown past his actions, and he decided it was worth it to move onto someone else. You have to stay firm in your resolution not to react to him. Every time you react to him you feed the nasty beast that is inside of this man. I wish I could give easier advice, or something more simple, but in my experience and from what I have read on this subject, it is best not to feed the beast withinGood luck! Stephanie

]]> By: Anonymous http://stephaniemanley.com/2008/09/how-to-get-past-a-bad-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-60 Anonymous Thu, 11 Dec 2008 06:35:00 +0000 http://stephaniemanley.com/?p=74#comment-60 Stephanie<br/>As I read these entries it is like looking in a mirror, I didn't think anyone but my counselor understood. But these people here, know first hand the pain, the heartbreak, and even the numbness.<br/>I was engaged a year, and married 16, I cannot even explain yet. Its been 2 1/2 years now since the divorce. I don't know who I am, where I am going, if I am going anywhere..<br/>It is just horrifying to know that there are really other evil people out there like my ex-husband. <br/>I am sorry for you all, no one should have to live with these people and be treated this like this.<br/>The ironic thing is they think they are perfect without fault, and it is the rest of the world...<br/>Thanks for letting me find you. bye. Stephanie
As I read these entries it is like looking in a mirror, I didn’t think anyone but my counselor understood. But these people here, know first hand the pain, the heartbreak, and even the numbness.
I was engaged a year, and married 16, I cannot even explain yet. Its been 2 1/2 years now since the divorce. I don’t know who I am, where I am going, if I am going anywhere..
It is just horrifying to know that there are really other evil people out there like my ex-husband.
I am sorry for you all, no one should have to live with these people and be treated this like this.
The ironic thing is they think they are perfect without fault, and it is the rest of the world…
Thanks for letting me find you. bye.

]]> By: Anonymous http://stephaniemanley.com/2008/09/how-to-get-past-a-bad-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-57 Anonymous Mon, 13 Oct 2008 16:26:00 +0000 http://stephaniemanley.com/?p=74#comment-57 Hi. I just found your blog today. Great. We don't know each other but I want to say I am sorry for your loss. That is so sad.<br/><br/>Seems you have experience with NPD. I have too. Getting over one now. It's been a year. We live in a very small town so I see him all the time. I ignore him, haven't contacted him, don't try to get his attention. He has had a couple other short-term things since then. He was always flirting with women and did not want to be in a relationship. Despite my feelings I decided to give him what he wanted - no relationship. Now even though it's been a year he tries to hurt me. Why? Why do they do this if they care about you and don't want to be involved anyway? I think it is because I took control away from him and didn't respond to his games.<br/><br/>When I do get involved with someone else I wonder what he will do then? I haven't yet - needed to get my head on straight first but it will happen. Will his meanness increase? Hi. I just found your blog today. Great. We don’t know each other but I want to say I am sorry for your loss. That is so sad.

Seems you have experience with NPD. I have too. Getting over one now. It’s been a year. We live in a very small town so I see him all the time. I ignore him, haven’t contacted him, don’t try to get his attention. He has had a couple other short-term things since then. He was always flirting with women and did not want to be in a relationship. Despite my feelings I decided to give him what he wanted – no relationship. Now even though it’s been a year he tries to hurt me. Why? Why do they do this if they care about you and don’t want to be involved anyway? I think it is because I took control away from him and didn’t respond to his games.

When I do get involved with someone else I wonder what he will do then? I haven’t yet – needed to get my head on straight first but it will happen. Will his meanness increase?

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