What do you exchange for friendship?
Mar 25, 2006 By Stephanie Manley Under Relationships
What do you exchange for friendship? by Stephanie Manley
Have you ever thought about what you exchange of yourself in a relationship with someone else? What part of you do you hold back, or what parts do you share? How do you know your being received? Often I have asked myself these very questions. These questions apply in romantic as well as platonic relationships. What do you give up to be with someone else?
Ideally perfect relationships should happen all of the time, but they do not. How often do we long for friends that we are totally in synch with? There are times when I long for friendships that I had growing up, when it was easy to unite over a common cause, and bond together. Now, we all have our own lives, different interests, jobs, and other competing energies that take away the ability to draw upon this bonding force that we used to have. If you find those that you are compatible with, your lucky, so often we find people that we are semi-bonded to, or semi attracted to, what do you do then?
Know thyself. I feel for you to enjoy relationships for what they are, whether it is a casual dating relationship, a friendship, and someone you have coffee with at times, you really need to know where you begin and end. It is so easy to get pulled into someone else’s life, but often that is at a price. While getting drawn into someone’s life isn’t always a bad thing, I don’t think it is meant for us to be pulled into the life of everyone that we meet.
Is the person that you are spending time with on the same level as you? Do you share common beliefs and values? One recent example in my life, of this was, I was recently with someone that was obviously very materialistic, now we all are to some degree. This person always had to like the most expensive item, or brag constantly about their desires or things they wished that they had. It eventually became so exhausting, I had to forgo that person any longer. Their need to show they were affluent, culturally aware, and stable, trumped any concern they had for me as an individual.
Do you feel good about the interactions that you have with the other person? If not, you should learn to limit contact, and seek companionship that is beneficial for both parties. There is simply no reason to allow someone else to take away any of your happiness because life is too short.
