How start breaking free from a narcissist
Are you with a narcissist? Does your life feel complicated beyond belief? Is all of your anxiety typically centered around one person? Do you find that person gives you standards that you can’t keep up with, because their standards change all of the time? You may be with a narcissist.
Life is a narcissist is a living hell. One thing is critical though, you must divorce yourself from getting self validation from this person. Secretly this person fears you. They will go out of their way to tear you down. They will tear you down on all fronts, the will not stop. They are compelled to do this. Their actions, while they may feel personal, are not personal.
Realize the narcissist is unable to make those deeper personal connections that normal people make. They are unable to make friendships, and love relationships the rest of the population makes. Instead, they offer interactions that may look like friendships and love relationships, but they are not the same. The narcissist must interact with people to feed their narcissism, but you are only a source to them.
What can you do? You need to learn to step away from the relationship. You must begin to break those ties that bind you together. Breaking this type of relationship can be very difficult, it may feel impossible. To save yourself you must learn to distance yourself from this person. This can be something as simple as realizing their put downs, their rages, and their fits are not personal. When the person acts up, you need to learn how to deflect their actions. Whether this means walking away, not responding, or another action, it is important that you do not feed into their misbehavior.
It is critical that you realize that in dealing with a narcissist, they are not normal people. It is unlikely that they can ever be reformed into normal people. You will have set your own boundaries and protective walls around yourself from that person. Once you start this, you will have more power in your situation with your narcissist. Ideally, one day you should walk away from the relationship, and no longer have any contact with this person. Breaking free of your narcissist can be done.