When you love an addict
By Stephanie Manley
One of the hardest things you can ever do is to love an addict. Addiction is a vicious and an all influencer that very few relationships can survive. The addiction whether it is drugs, food, alcohol, or even the internet really doesn’t matter because that desire that your loved one will have will over shadow all.
Loving an addict leaves you feeling empty and very alone.
Realize that the addition will over shadow all aspects in your relationship with the other person. When someone is consumed with an addiction that addiction comes before everything else. Your loved one does care, but realize that your loved one has something else that is more pervasive in their life. They still love you, but the nature of an addiction will place the desire and need to feed their addiction as the primary force in their life.
You will be faced with the choice of trying to compensate for them in their relationship. This may be trying to explain why they are late, why they are unprepared, and why your mate may be distracted. Eventually this will leave you feeling exhausted and empty. It will be at this point you will need to determine if you are receiving positive qualities out of the relationship.
It is important to be supportive of your partner’s recovery if that is what they want to do. If they do not want to recover, your best option is not to continue to explain why your mate can not cope with life as they normally would. You do not want to enable their misguided behavior; this will make it easier for them to continue their addition.
You may be faced with putting aside the relationship if their addiction grows to be too great. For some couples this realization is enough to help the addict reel in their addiction for others, they will simply part ways. A relationship with someone who has an addiction is worse than a relationship with someone who is involved with another person, as you do not lose your loved one to someone else; you lose them to their self.
About Stephanie Manley
read your site , 1 st time viewer . Have recently became more cognizant regarding Narcisstic behavior and addiction . My husband was dx as manic depressive and treated accordingly . Has been in AA and recently fell off the wagon for a 4 day binge , has been going to AA but has made it a HUGE deal . I told him it was just a thread in the fabric of his life verses the topic of conversation at all times , from there he has gotten to threaten physical and has become very aggressive with verbal abuse without being able to get anyone engaged .
In reading the site holidays have been somewhat cheerful up unitl about 4 years ago then turmoil . I have always plugged on enjoyed the moment and required him to be gone . Last night after coming back from floating which with a stupid blow up which once again left him not along for the ride . He picked a fight with most mild mannered of children ( 24 year old . We as a group stayed cool calm and collected and had him leave he did whatever he could to get us engaged , but no one budged . His power slowly diminished in his own eyes and he left without fanfare . In my heart staying cool calm collected and not wavering about what I have wanted for me and my children . has let him go . Its for him to fix and obviously from this website he will find someone weaker that can be consumed by hi, Many thanks
thanks